All I want for Christmas Is…

15Oct08

Besides owning my very own SLR camera – which I hope you don’t get me but I kind of sorta do. I want you to STOP talking to him. :/ That’d would be the BEST thanksgiving - hanukah - christmas – easter – birthday – 4th of july gift EVER! I wouldn’t ask for anything else. I was dead serious before & I’m still dead serious. – I would never in my life ask for anything else from you. That is what I want… but knowing you – yeah… knowing you.

I want to wake up one morning and know we didn’t fight the previous night. That it wont feel awkward for me to see you that day in school or something along those lines. I want to wake up one morning and feel like I am your one and only. I want to have more than one amazing day out of 365 days with you! I want to be the one you come and talk to about random shit – important stuff – anything. I want to be the person to catch you if you ever fall. I want all these things… that I might just never get. And it seems to be okay for now… Knowing me it’ll always be okay. Just okay. I don’t want you to go – but by staying I know I will get hurt. So I guess for now… till probably the day you honestly (which I doubt) give him up… I will just have to deal. I will get hurt – but thats okay – I hurt you. I will feel like I’m second place. I will know that you can live without me – but him… you need him to live. And that’s true. And that’s sad. – But it’s true.